I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
