i think my tv is drunk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
