Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
