if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
