I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
