i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize