well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
