Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He better not be in your backpack
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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