I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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