sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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