Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
