In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
