i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
