Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
