Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
