Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize