is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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