No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
