I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So squirting runs in the family.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
