C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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