best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
