ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she looked like the before picture.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
