So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
