wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
