Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
