Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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