just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
