His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
