I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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