just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
