So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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