Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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