Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
