Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
