Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
