You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
