My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize