it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you win again, gameday.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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