I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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