john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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