We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
