I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
50% drunk capacity currently
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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