then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize