good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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