it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
