just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
