Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
