Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
