i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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