she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
