GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
