I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
