Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're like the curious george of whores
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love you. Go after that dick
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize