***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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