Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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