My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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