Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
did i just pee glitter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
