Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize