do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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