if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
