i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize