I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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