somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
