She's JV to your varsity
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
