Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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