I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
