i think my mom watched the whole time
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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