i jhust puked up my retainher.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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