i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
