is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
