Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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