My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
