We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize