I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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