I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
