Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
