honey bunches of taint.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
