all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
