I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
