Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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