I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
