life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
