i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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