He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
