My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
