break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
