I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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