Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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