Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
