Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
