Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
