I like to think it a success when the cops are called
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
